“Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.” Ephesians 5:25
A blissful marriage, as God intends for us, is built when two people come together in an act of selflessness, dedicated to being a servant to their spouse, not viewing the relationship as slave and master. Such a marriage is built upon mutual respect, gratitude, and with a view towards pleasing the other, while also looking towards heaven.
When one partner looks for their own gratification instead of that of their spouse, it brings strife and pain. When one is demeaned, controlled, and held in a constant state of servitude, all chance of marital bliss is lost.
Furthermore, such a relationship does not reflect upon the true heart of marriage as our creator designed and cannot spur a warm and tender relationship, but instead such attitudes cause much pain and proves a very poor example to children within the household.
“Respect me, obey me, submit to me” are attitudes that can never inspire respect, while submission comes from a sense of fear. These demands show an attitude of domination, not love. They demonstrate a heart of superiority and place the spouse, typically the wife, in a place of inequality, a state of lesser value and lower position. This is not the heart of God, the intention of His design.
Husbands, do you treat your wives in a way that you would wish for your daughters to be treated in their own marriages? Likewise wives, are you the example you should be for your sons and daughters?
If one truly loves their spouse as Christ loves the church they will be a servant, humble and hard-working; loving, compassionate and caring, never demanding, always kind. Not looking to build themselves up, but doing everything one can to help their spouse, to lift them up and never tear them down!
Be grateful for your spouse. Shower them with praise and gratitude. Let your children see that you truly value them not only in your words, but in deed. Flirt with your spouse, help him or her with their tasks rather than demand that they help you with yours. Be understanding. Allow them to sleep in when they’re tired, lighten their load when they feel overwhelmed. Pray with them, and pray for them.
Never be hesitant to say I’m sorry, and always be ready to forgive (I’ve needed to say those words a lot, but I’m finally learning-after 35+ years!)
Spend time together partaking in mutually satisfying activities, make date nights a regular thing (“Date Night at Home” is one of our favorite things), greet your spouse with a smile and a kiss rather than complaints and demands. Love on them, walk with them, dote on them, and always be grateful for all they do and who they are.
Marriage is not a cake-walk; at times it can be very difficult and painful. Let’s be sure not to be the source of pain for our spouse, but instead the source of joy and comfort.
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…” Song of Solomon 6:3
-Maureen